I started this blog in June 2016, and I thought this would be a good time to post my why. The idea of starting a wellness journey came from an unhappy place in my life. I realized my sad self around Spring 2015. It hit me hard. I had been ignoring the signs of unhappiness for many months. My body started physically reacting in ways that I would now call wake up calls. I was breaking out into hives for no reason, I wasn't sleeping, and I started having panic attacks. I would go from having a loss of appetite to over eating based on how I was feeling. There was a lot going on in my life at that time with family, friends, and work that were unusually stressful for me. Instead of asking for help, getting help, or even acknowledging that I was struggling I let myself go down this rabbit hole. It led me to sleepless nights and an overall feeling of incompetency, anxiety, and fear. I tried to pull myself out by using my own will. My own will was broken though. It was skewed with less than helpful ideas of how I could make myself better. Then I made the worst decision ever which was to completely ignore that I was in trouble and start focusing on making everyone else happy. Surely I could get happy if I made other people happy, right? Well, in a healthy state of being that's probably true. But in my state of mind, making other people happy wasn't going to be enough. I kicked myself for weeks for not doing this sooner, but at my worst I decided to seek professional help. I made the appointment to see a Therapist. She's a Licensed Social Worker and we've been working together since Spring 2015. As having been a Therapist myself, I often cannot grasp why I didn't go sooner. It's been baby steps but my work with my Therapist has catapulted me into the best version of myself that I have ever known. We've talked about a lot in those sessions, but the biggest take away for me has been to make self care priority #1. I am no good to anyone, let alone myself, if I am not eating well, sleeping well, moving well, and loving my life. This blog is documenting how I am moving with purpose, and how these movements are contributing to my healing and continued happy life. What I do every day matters. How I think of myself and my experiences every minute matters. The foods I put into my body matters. Making my body move through fitness matters. Taking care of myself is just the first step. Everything else that I want good in my life will come because of this. If I am well, then I am contributing in meaningful ways as a mother, wife, sister, daughter, cousin, and friend.
Saving my mind, body and soul is my why.
This year I turned 40! Embracing my grey hairs, my laugh lines and stepping boldly into my future. Everyday is an opportunity to express gratitude for my life, family and friends. Thank you. Realizing that difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations. I will never have this day again so I'm making it count. I have dedicated my time to aging well so that I can enjoy this day to the fullest. Cheers to never giving up, loving yourself and believing that there is something in us bigger than our obstacles.
I've read that getting back into a fitness routine can be compared to riding a bike. Once learned, it can never be forgotten. Well, I decided to take it literally by actually getting back on a bike. So I bought one! 😄 I haven't owned a bike since I was a child. What is most surprising is that my body not only experienced muscle memory (I was able to ride the bike with ease), but my mind has been recalling loads of happy & adventurous bike rides I had as a child. With each new ride comes a new fantastic memory of my childhood feelings of wonder, freedom, carelessness, enthusiasm, small pleasures, sense of wonder, and curiosity. These rides have helped remind me that those qualities are still in me. My adulthood has sort of compartmentalized those experiences into stuff I don't have time for. However, biking and everything it reminds me of makes me happy. Happiness snuck in a door I did not think was open. This wellness journey I've been on keeps getting better and better 😄